In your adult life, adventure awaits in uncertainty. That’s what is so exciting about the potential of moving to a new city, there’s new adventure that awaits! You can discover your new favorite neighborhood, a new favorite hangout, a new favorite park… The opportunities are endless and exciting. The biggest concern though, other than apartment hunting, is learning how to make friends in a new city.
Fortunately, that’s a scary spot that most people dread when moving to a new city. There is almost nothing trickier than trying to make friends in a new city. How do you meet people that you enjoy spending time with? Especially if you don’t know anyone in the city? And you don’t wan’t to only be friends with coworkers (which can be an easy solution, if you’re looking for the fast fix, by the way) or find your friends on a dating app (which is apparently now a thing, thanks to Bumble BFF).
Lucky you. I’ve got some suggestions.
A guide to make friends in a new city
1) Reach out to your friends for friendship set-ups.
This might feel weird, but this is generally one of the best chances for you to make a friend that will stick! Everyone knows making friends in a new city is tricky business. Ask your friends if they know anyone in your new metropolitan area, and ask if they can set you up on some friend-dates. If not, no biggie. There’s no harm in asking.
If your friend likes them, you’ll probably like them too! I bet the friend-of-a-friend has friends in the city already too, and you can bet there’s someone there you’d want to hang out with.
2) Make a routine.
You’re probably thinking to yourself: I have a routine. Get up, get ready for work, work. How’s that help me make friends in a new city? I’m talking about an extracurricular routine. Go to the same workout class every week, or find a local venue whose music you like, or join a kickball league, or go to a stand-up class twice a week.
If you get into a regular routine, it’s easier to form connections with people you see regularly and, well, have similar interests as you. They’re participating in the same extracurricular! It’s much easier to approach someone to ask to hang out when you’ve met them more than once too.
3) Try new things.
How do you find your people in a big, new, foreign city? Try new things! You’ll never know if your perfect group of friends is just a few neighborhoods over if you’re always going to the same taqueria just because you know what you like and you don’t want to risk feeling awkward or nervous about trying something new.
My favorite thing to do when moving to a new city is to ask everyone you meet their three favorite spots, events, or architecture when moving to a new city. Make a big list! It’s a good conversation starter and it doubles as a list of hangout spots you can invite your other friends to.
This is where Jukely can come in. Go to a venue you normally wouldn’t and try and meet new people at music you might love! Show friends are the best friends because they’re passionate about mutual interests (like music, for example) and they are there looking for a good time. It’s almost always a safe space.
4) Don’t be scared to get out of your comfort zone.
Don’t get in a rut. It’s okay to feel nervous and awkward to ask people to hang out after you first meet them, especially if it’s your first time moving to a new city. Don’t get comfortable! It should never be embarrassing to ask someone to hang out, especially if you genuinely enjoy their company and had a good time. I know you want to come off as really cool, but it’s okay to admit that you’re trying to make new friends in the city.
It’s 2018. Caring is cool.