what to wear to Middlelands

You might have heard by now about the newest festival on the block. Middlelands will take place Todd Mission, TX, which is about an hour and change northwest of Houston.

The festival itself is medieval themed, and they’re really committing to it, even though it’s an electronic music festival and I’m 80% sure that in real medieval times they didn’t have the equipment necessary to pull this off. Nevertheless, electronic medieval festival and it’s not just a token theme. Just take a look at the stage names: Castle Northwoods, The Stronghold, Trinity Vale –  it’s legitimately really fun and whimsical.

The site is also the site of the Texas Renaissance Festival, which takes place on weekends in the late summer through the early fall. While it remains to be seen how Middlelands will play out, I see it going one of two ways.

  1. It turns into your standard electronic music festival atmosphere.
  2. People really commit to the theme and it becomes a renaissance fair with different (better) music.

I don’t know about you, but I want to do everything I can to make the second option a reality. So here’s a few things you can bring, wear and do at Middlelands to really commit to the theme.

  • Commit to a persona: They were really into classes, royalty, knights, peasants. Pick a persona and stick with it, don’t garble up your burlap and your crowns. Also, if you’re in a group, try and go with different classes. We can’t all be queens. And be nice to the person who goes with peasant, he’s taking one for the team.
  • Pick the right footwear: I know, walking a fairground requires smart footwear choices. There is, however, some modern footwear that is more acceptable than others. Boots or leather shoes for example. You know what really stands out like a sore thumb? Your Nike logo sneakers with the bold neon accent colors.
  • Wear a hat: This one applies to many festivals, especially if you’re going to insist on not wearing sunscreen (I know how much of an old person I sound like now). But why not take the opportunity to really sell a medieval vibe with a hat? After all, a great ensemble is about the details.
  • Braid your hair: It definitely seems medieval-y to me. And if you’re a guy, try a wig. After all, people back then probably didn’t go to the barber as much as you do now.
  • Insist on talking with an accent: I’m not sure if you’ve picked up on this or not, but none of this is historically accurate. I mean, it’d be very depressing if it was historically accurate, they were called the Dark Ages for a reason. Rather, it’s just fun to commit to the theme, put in a little bit of effort, and have fun with it. Maybe you’ll end up sounding historically accurate, maybe you’ll just sound like Chris Hemsworth in Thor.
  • Water: Please stay hydrated. I know back then they drank a lot of alcohol because the water wasn’t sanitary, but we know better now. I mean, if this is also going to be an electronic festival, there’s got to be room for modern medicine too.

Do your part and put in the effort to make Middlelands as fun as possible and not just a run of the mill electronic festival. Also, here are the final lineups at all the stages. Plan accordingly, and if you’re moving between a lot of stages, we can all just pretend that women wore pants back then (getting around in historically accurate dresses is hard).


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