Time to put on your tinfoil hats because we’re about to blow your minds.

Robert Del Naja is not Banksy.

Recent breaking news has set the internet aflame, fingering Robert Del Naja, acclaimed British artist, musician, and founding member of Massive Attack as the legendary street artist Banksy.

In Scroobius Pip’s weekly Distraction Pieces podcast, drum and bass artist Goldie was laying into Banksy and how his art has been commercialized and made massive profits for certain people around the world.

And then he let this slip:

“Give me a bubble letter and put it on a T-shirt and write “Banksy” on it and we’re sorted. We can sell it now.

No disrespect to Robert, I think he is a brilliant artist. I think he has flipped the world of art over.”

Yes, Robert. As in Robert Del Naja, founder of Massive Attack.

Map tracking Banksy and Massive Attack's movement
Map from the Daily Mail tracking Massive Attack and Banksy’s movements.

The evidence has been there for years and this, to many people, was the final piece of the puzzle confirming it. Del Naja, for his part, has repeatedly denied it, but this is irrefutable.

Right?

Wrong.

This is the perfect cover. Throw everything into chaos and hide in broad daylight. But we will not be deceived. We will not have the wool brought over our eyes. Because, get ready for this…

Goldie is Banksy.

Yes. Right? It’s the perfect plan. This was not a mistake by Goldie accidentally letting Banksy’s true identity as Del Naja slip. This was a carefully executed plan to distract the internet and continue to run wild anonymously. Perhaps Del Naja was in on it. After all, the conspiracy theories have been tracking Massive Attack’s movements along with Banksy’s. Maybe they’ve been coordinating this whole time and playing the long con. After all…

They both spent the ’80s as graffiti artists across the UK.

Probably together. How big could that community possibly be?

It’s all a trick. Don’t be fooled. All we have to do is figure out why.

Okay, tinfoil hats off.

UNLESS you want to discuss how STEVIE WONDER IS DEFINITELY NOT BLIND!!!

Additional “reporting” thanks to Jason DonnellyHayata Ishikawa, Diana Lease, Lisa Looye, Elana Orfield, and Alex Wall.


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